two in the same
by shadowinthedark13
Summary: "M'gann thinks but M'gann isn't in control."


**Title: **two in the same

**Rating/Warnings: **T

**Word Count: **699

**Character(s):** M'gann M'orzz, the Team.

**Pairing(s):** mentions La'gaan/M'gann and Conner/M'gann

**Summary:** M'gann thinks, but M'gann doesn't have control. Not anymore.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's Notes: **It's kind of comic canon I guess that M'gann has two personalities? Well this is along those lines, but I don't really explain much on the other M'gann. Also, La'gann is a fucking bitch to type out. This doesn't end happy, either.

* * *

M'gann thinks _stop._

M'gann thinks _you're killing it, please._

M'gann thinks, but M'gann doesn't have control. Not anymore.

* * *

It was slow at first, just a ticking in the back of her mind; something that screamed for a girl in a frozen wasteland and something that's been persecuted all her life. It hadn't been bad. M'gann could control It, push It away and watch sitcoms and be Hello Megan.

After New Year's Eve, It wanted more. Wanted control and wanted to be heard. It didn't want to hide behind green skin and soft smiles. It wanted to grin and kill and hurt.

Because where M'gann was giggles and strong and beautiful, It was the Martian with incredible psychic abilities. It was the one who said, _run, hide on the ship,_ and M'gann was just the follower; a follower in her own body, her own mind.

* * *

M'gann feels It creeping into her mind, pressing her to the walls of her head and holding her there. Artemis looks at her, eyebrows furrowed as she watches M'gann hand raise. Beside her, Wally frowns and speaks through a mouth full of popcorn, "Megs, you're blockin' the TV."

"Shut your mouth when you chew," It sneers and Wally's jaw clicks shut with an audible chatter, it cracks one of his molars, and M'gann's hand squeezes into a fist, closing his airways. "Don't chew so much at once."

Wally chokes and Artemis screams and M'gann wants it to stop, she really does.

Artemis and Wally won't speak to her, and Conner's words, _you're getting out of hand, M'gann,_ still ring in her head.

* * *

"We're getting out of hand," M'gann tells her reflection, the alien words slipping off her tongue easily after so many months of disuse. Something in her mind says _I'm not here to play games and be a part of a team,_ and M'gann watches her skin bleed from green to white, her short red hair growing in length, pulling itself into a high ponytail. Her outfit changes from pink cardigan and skirt to a white version of her costume, showing more cleavage than she'd like. _This is who you are, M'gann._

"This is who _you_ are," and M'gann's image in the mirror distorts as it cracks.

* * *

M'gann is only M'gann with La'gann, and maybe It thinks that should be enough but it's certainly not. La'gann doesn't care about her thoughts or feelings, really. He likes her warm lips and soft hands and he likes being wanted and needed and she supposes that's what she did with Conner at the beginning.

She doesn't get to apologize to Conner, or go see Wally or Artemis, or talk to Roy. She doesn't get to ask Kaldur what they did to hurt him so badly.

It doesn't care. She takes to rewriting the brainwaves of her enemies and taking care of Gar. Because Gar is something different, something It doesn't mind. _He's got potential,_ It tells her, and M'gann is afraid.

* * *

"I hate this…this skin," It grimaces, teeth sharpening as they bite down into soft lips. M'gann winces at the feeling, but she stays quiet. "If you weren't such a coward I might have been able to show my true colors. I still could…"

She's grown weak over the past five years. M'gann hides and cowers away from herself in hopes that It won't hurt her friends.

* * *

M'gann tries to move, wants to do something, but with every mind she ruins she slips away and It becomes fiercer, angrier. It kills and hurts and pretends, and maybe this is karma. This is what M'gann gets for being a liar.

Her friends treat her as if she is a stranger, and M'gann cannot fix it. She won't wake up from this dream, and Billy isn't there to hold her as she cries. Kaldur isn't there to offer comforting words, and Conner isn't there to tell her how incredible and beautiful she is.

It's a nightmare, it's her life.

* * *

M'gann thinks _please don't._

M'gann thinks _I'll kill you for this, I will._

M'gann's mind cracks in pieces, fragments, and she can't find her way out of the darkness.

(M'gann thinks _I'm sorry)._


End file.
